Surrender

I do not claim to know why,
          but strive to do what’s honorable, honest and good.
I do not know why I am so driven to do what’s good,
          but it is part of my cellular make-up
                    that is outside my realm of consciousness and understanding.
I strive to understand why most people are not driven to do good and be honest, support, sincere.
 
Has our world made us so cyncical and insecure, that we simply cannot trust what we instinctlively know is right and good?
It seems ego and self-importance is more important then generousity, kindness and friendship.
 
I mourn the loss of these values in the world.
 
I surrender the expectation that others will respond in good ways.
 
Regardless, I will continue to
     be kind to all friends and strangers,
     be supportive and helpful to all those in need
     be generous in spirit and love to all.
These values I cannot surrender.
 
 
……………………………..S……………………………..
 
 
  
Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment

Blindness and Deafness

 
 
If one ignores to see abuse and injustice,
     does it exist?
If one ignores to address an abuse or injustice,
 are they wrong.
  are they ignorant 
    or
    are they equal accomplices to the problem and the crime?
 
….s…..
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Really tired

The needles are making me feel like a pin cushion.
The pills seem to be unending and unneeded.
The waiting is unbearable, lonely, disappointing …
The days are filled with constant unknowns punctuated with anxiety and pain with little moments of joy
 
This is all a temporary state I know…
   Tomorrow will be better I pray…
      This will all pass….
 
Today I am just really tired of being me….
 
 
…………..S……………..
Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment

Where from here?

I have heard your voice,
  but don’t know where to go.
I know the destination,
  but don’t know the road.
I feel the anxiety and my heart’s yearning,
  but I don’t see you.
I feel your touch, but I am miles from you.
 
       How can we connect?
 
 
………………………..S……………………………….
 
Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment

The reflection

The steel beam reflects moving images and glimpse of light.
   One experiences the fragments but not see the whole.
 
The mirror shows the physical portrait we place in front of it.
    But cannot capture the essence of the person’s soul.
 
Your eyes and hands feels the contours of your lovers’ body and the heat of their skin,
    but not the warmth of their heart.
 
Only your heart can see and feel the reflection and essence of
    someone’s heart and soul.
 
 
 
……………………………..S………………………………….
Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment

The Treasure

The depths of the ocean do not have enough lost treasure to equal their value.
 
The richest in the world can only dream of it’s worth.
 
Monarchs, royalty and powerful government leaders cannot harness the strength they have.
 
The earth is too small to hold for all they give to me.
 
Every worldly treasure pales to the love and support of my family
    truly my greatest treasure.
 
………………………S…………………………….
 
Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment

The peace of silence

To be deep in thought
  without the chatter of mindless worry.
To observe beauty
   without needing to possess it.
To be present in a crowd
    and be comfortable with my solitude.
To experience touch
    and not react violently terrified of the sound it could make.
To hear the crowds,
    but only feel the silence, the peace.
Silence of my mind is the greatest peace I’ve ever known.
 
…………………………..S…………………….
Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment

So..

Smile at me, so I can laugh
  Speak to me, so I can hear
      Touch me, so I can feel
         Read me, so I can know.
 
 
…………………….S………………………………..
Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment

Six spots..

As the image became focused on the screen, I gasped.
What was I seeing?
   Was it something that was missing?
      Or was it something that was there?
 
What is it?
   Some lesions.
How many are there?
   Six?
 
I quickly smiled.  Yeah, there WOULD be six.  Like my birthday.
 
How did it get there?
   We really don’t know.
Is it bad?
    Sometimes, but again we really don’t know.
 
As I settle in the reality of all this uncertainty in living,
       I  have come to a peaceful
          knowing that six is my lucky number.
These six spots are the major traumas (or dramas), of my life that I will not repeat.
These six spots are my personal internal art that has recorded the major events that life has given me
      and that I have successfully survived and triumphed over each of them.
These six spots will be my internal reminders to avoid them again.
 
I know I will not getting any more spots. 
I will not allow life to wound me anymore.
I will not allow myself to be hurt.
 
Actually my six spots won’t be leisons or traumas or dramas anymore.
They are just part of me; my personal fabric; my internal quilt.
 
When hurt, sorrow, treachery or deceit try to hurt or beat me,
   I’ll smile and say
     " No thanks!  I have six already". 🙂
 
…………S……
 
Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment

Sanctuary

The days go by and I get stronger,
             more confident,
                   more willing to go forward to new beginnings.
I am grateful for all the TRUE friends who have comforted me along this path.
  They are forever more than friends,
            they are more than family,
               they are more than any words I can express.
I am grateful to those who have disappointed me. 
      They have taught me to be more selective
                  to whom I should share my heart and soul with.
But at the same, I would do it all again. 
For these experiences, though painful and full of sorrow
    have not detered my optimism of living and loving.
Maybe my personal santuary is not in the hiding,
     it is in the living and loving.
Let me rejoice in the sanctuary of life by living fully and loving foolishly
   and not cower into loneliness and darkness.
 
…..S….
 
 
Posted in Poetry | Leave a comment